distancing and stay-at-home orders are taking a toll on the human psyche and
fueling the loneliness epidemic that has raged for several years. Let’s face
it: It’s isolating inside for long stretches. And when we venture outside, we
find others who look like aliens with face masks and gloves, darting away from
each other. It’s downright creepy.
Coronavirus knocked us off our feet, one-fifth of Americans reported feeling
lonely. More than one-third of Americans age 45 and older said they felt socially
isolated. And 28 percent of older adults live home alone, more than ever
isolation is bad news: Loneliness is as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a
day, being obese, or having high blood pressure or diabetes. It can trigger
inflammation, arthritis, Alzheimer’s and premature death. It also hampers the
immune system, which is especially tough on seniors who are more vulnerable to
How can we bust
· Rekindle old friendships:
Go on the Internet or pick up your phone to track down people from your past.
Close friends help us cope with the ups and downs of life and this is a
downer. Don’t be the lone wildebeest: In the African Savanna, wildebeests
seek safety in a pack. The one who strays away from the network is in trouble
when the lion arrives!
· Create virtual double dates:
Connect with another couple. But don’t make small talk. Talk about real
concerns. Getting together with others over a glass of wine or cup of tea
triggers new ideas, prompts great discussions and brings everyone closer.
· Choose meaningful connections: Connect
with friends who soothe and support you. Steer clear of toxic relationships who
vex or annoy you. Aristotle divides friendship into three types: those of
“utility” and those of “pleasure”— which both fade away. But the friendship “of
the good,” the one that exists for its own sake, sticks with you!
· Connect to Community: Stream
concerts, plays, church services. It’s the next best thing to being there.
· Chat up strangers: When
you’re outside, interact with others nearby. Did you ever tell share secrets
with your airplane seatmate? We frequently confide in people we barely know,
seeking “cognitive empathy” with others who have similar experiences. These
days, we’re all in the same boat. Just stay six feet away!
Remember, physical distance isn’t the same as social distance. People who move through tough times and trauma emerge with “post-traumatic growth,” more resilient and with a better sense of what really matters. They learn to appreciate life more and sense subtler vibrations. This is a stressful time. But with the right approach it can be transformational.
Judy Holland has been a journalist for more than 30 years, including in the Washington Bureau of Hearst Newspapers as national editor and Capitol Hill correspondent, where she prepared stories for 600 newspapers over The New York Times wire. Her stories have appeared in the Washington Post, Boston Globe, Houston Chronicle, San Francisco Examiner, Tampa Tribune, and Washingtonian magazine. She was president of the Washington Press Club Foundation, a nonprofit celebrating female pioneers in journalism. She also was founder and editor-in-chief of Parentinsider.com, an online magazine for parents of teens, for which she wrote stories, edited columns, and co-produced videos. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband John Starr and their Great Dane, whom her three children, Lindsay, Maddie and Jack, left home to fill the empty nest.
HappiNest: Finding Fulfillment After Your Kids Leave Home is available February 15, 2020 via Amazon and other retail outlets.
Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.