Have you ever wondered who you truly are? When I was in my teens, I often asked myself who or what it is that is truly me. Especially in interactions with others. I would notice that depending on whom I was interacting with, I was a completely different person. Back then, I was kind of proud that I was able to switch instantly and accomplish so many roles. But I did wonder what was hidden behind all the roles and identities I could put on display. Is life really just an act? Is there a true “me”? And if so, how do I know the difference?
Is Life an Act?
Life is only an act if we are functioning from other people’s ideals and expectations, trying to figure out how to fit in and accomplish other people’s needs and desires without having a sense of who or what we are truly being.
When we are functioning from pleasing others in order to receive acknowledgment and validation, we are missing a vital part in the equation – ourselves! In a way, we are still functioning from a child-like behavior of seeking how to be from outside influences and sources, rather than looking to ourselves and accessing our own awareness and desires to acknowledge who or what we truly are.
How do we get aware of who or what we truly are?
Becoming aware of who or what we truly are is pretty simple and starts with asking questions like:
– Who or what am I being here?
– What is my agenda and what am I trying to accomplish here?
– If I would truly be me in this situation, who or what would I be and what would I choose?
These kinds of questions are not asked to give us answers, but rather an awareness of whether we are truly being ourselves, or if we are functioning from roles or identities that we have taken on from others. As well as, are we trying to fulfill certain expectations or agendas?
Self-Awareness gives you Choice
When we start becoming more aware of who or what we are being in certain situations, we start having more choices. Because once we are aware of functioning from a certain role or agenda, we have the choice to continue or choose something else – rather than blindly playing that role as if that is all we can be or choose.
Who or what else can we be, if we are not the roles, identities, and costumes that we are putting on or sometimes trying hard to avoid?
Acknowledgment & Allowance are the Keys to Personal Freedom
Many people invest so much time and energy trying to avoid being something – usually it’s the things that we have decided are bad or wrong. For example, many women try to avoid being a bitch. Interestingly, most of us will resist or react to something we already are or have a capacity for! How many of us have been accused of being a bitch in the past and instead of seeing it as a capacity, are now trying to avoid being judged or made wrong again?
How much more freedom would we have, if we would actually indulge in being a bitch, acknowledging and enjoying it? When you start acknowledging something and allow yourself to be it – without judgment that it is good, bad, right or wrong – you are getting out of playing the victim role into giving yourself the freedom of choice.
What if being a Bitch is not Wrong?
What if being a bitch is not a wrongness, but rather a strongness, when you are willing to use it when it is required? Acting like a bitch can be the perfect action to avoid being a doormat! What is the difference between acting like a bitch and being one? The acting bitch is aware that she is choosing to be a bitch at this moment, and not being it as an unconscious reaction. She knows it doesn’t define her, but it is an energy and tool she can use to create greater in certain situations, just like she can use kindness, assertiveness, playfulness, humor, directness, intensity and many other ways of acting and being.
Self-Awareness creates Personal Power
Becoming more and more aware of who or what you are in certain situations without judging or limiting yourself gives you more choices and possibilities. Being the choosing one in situations allows you to be in action rather than in reaction to something – which ultimately leads to Personal Power.
So, my question for you is: Who are what are you truly being, that you have not acknowledged or chosen yet?
Tanja Barth is a personal wealth and well-being coach, mentor and co-author of Beyond Limitless. She has spent more than two decades in a highly-successful financial career – including roles as an auditor, transaction service manager, private equity & management consultant, wealth manager, and CFO. Now, in addition to her business activities, she incorporates her vast financial and management experience into her role as a Being You Certified Facilitator, and the facilitation of several other Access Consciousness(R) special programs.
Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books–written by men–barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.