Changing your mindset for the better can be deep work, taking hours of time journaling, meditating, and doing all of the other self-care things that can profoundly change your life forever. But there are also powerful ways to shift your mindset that don’t take a month of chanting in Tibet.
Here are a few quick tips you can use to overhaul and manage your mindset when setting aside an hour or more isn’t an option:
Tip 1: Change Your Perspective
Changing your perspective isn’t always easy, but it’s the most important step in shifting your mindset. Think of it as the decision that creates a turning point in your life. This was the #1 skill of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Every time something didn’t go her way or someone told her no, she adjusted her perspective on the situation, formulated a plan to reach her goals, believed in herself, and went after it! You can do this too!
While it’s not always easy, choosing to see your situation differently changes everything–which can be exactly what you need to create forward momentum. The best part? It only takes a moment to change your perspective, and once you see the opportunities on the other side of that shift, you can’t un-see them. It’s like those two-in-one pictures where you see an old lady until you see the profile of the beautiful woman. Once you know both options are there, you can choose which one you want to focus on.
Tip 2: Acknowledge Your Wins
Whenever you’re faced with a challenge, it’s easy to feel like a failure or like everything’s going wrong. The biggest reason for that is because you are biologically wired to remember and react to the bad things in life more potently than the good things. It’s a survival mechanism. Now that you don’t have to run from bears and remember not to steal their berries when you’re hungry anymore, your negative emotions are stimulated from a more psychological place.
So to keep you out of an emotional tailspin when you feel one coming on, track and actually look at the wins you’ve had. Whether you keep a file on your computer or you keep a box filled with trinkets to remind you of your successes, it’s important to refocus on what you’ve done well to regain your faith in yourself to move forward when things are hard.
Tip 3: Be Intentional
By being more intentional, you create the mental and emotional space you need to be grounded, clear, and open. It’s the difference between surpassing your goals, like winning a new contract, and finding yourself on the couch bingeing the latest season of The Bachelorette wondering what the hell happened. Your intentions set you up for success, and the more intentional you are, the more you win. Here’s why…
Intentions calm your mind and create a space for you to think through things. You’re able to consider options and outcomes you’d otherwise miss, so you can make the most of them. By inserting more intentional practices in your day, you find seamless ways to win.
For example, on a typical morning, you might wake up after hitting snooze five times, drag your feet to the bathroom, stand in front of your closet for 15 minutes (there’s nothing to wear again!), and then either run out the door late or plop in front of the computer five minutes before your meeting starts (you’re not using video anyway, right?).
But if you were being intentional, your morning would look more like this…you wake up excited for the day on the first alarm because today, you got the sleep you needed and you prepped for the morning. You slip on the clothes you picked out last night, you calmly eat your avocado toast while sipping a coffee, and then, with 20 minutes to spare, you’re ready for your day.
Tip 4: Love On Yourself
Sometimes, all you need is a little TLC–but in order to know how to love on yourself, you need to be able to recognize the ways in which you feel the most loved and appreciated. Check out the “Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman to discover how you most receive love. The five love languages he acknowledges are acts of service (having nice things done for you), quality time (deep, long talks), tangible gifts, words of affirmation (saying nice things), and physical touch.
Here are some examples for self-loving according to the five love languages:
Acts Of Service: This could look like doing the little things for yourself, like making the bed, keeping the dishes done, or other things that reduce stress on you. It can also look like participating in a charity or doing something nice for someone you care about. If you choose to do an act of service for someone else, remember to take the time to appreciate yourself for having chosen that activity.
Quality Time: This could look like taking time to sit in nature, take a bath, or journal–something that allows your inner voice to come out and be heard. This can also be doing something you love that lights you up, like making art, racing cars, or working out. The idea is to choose an activity or practice that gives you the space to clearly hear and process your own thoughts and emotions.
Tangible Gifts: This could look like getting yourself that pair of shoes you really wanted or the watch that’s been on your wishlist for three years. This is all about allowing yourself to receive and celebrate the experience of receiving.
Words Of Affirmation: This could look like standing in front of the mirror, looking yourself in the eye, and giving yourself 10 honest compliments — or writing out five things you’re proud of this week.
Physical Touch: This could look like choosing fabrics that feel really good against your skin or getting an at-home massager you use on your hands after typing all day. The idea here is to be intentional so you can process any thoughts, emotions, or beliefs that come up so you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
You don’t need to have the next best self-care ritual, all you need is to care for yourself by caring about yourself, your needs, and your desires.